Birding.

Because now even remote places in the countryside are being overly developed for real estate, many other species are being displaced from their homes and here we ask the ethical question: is it fair?

Humans, a species well known for its selfishness and nearsightedness, would of course say it is only fair that available lands are turned into homes. Human population is growing at exponential rates, while land, sadly stays the same. The regrettable reality that we share this land with other organisms like birds, insects, and trees is merely coincidental and negligible.  We say, tough luck for the trees. Fuck the insects.

Last year, as we went to visit our property in the south, we drove through vast tracks of empty land meant for subdivisions, but still filled with riotous plant life. Here and there, one may espy runaway streams with variegated stones. My heart just throbbed unconsciously at all that beauty. Suddenly, a bird, exquisite in plumage (it had long black and yellow iridescent feathers, to which my father-in-law upon being told the story said was probably an oriole) flew abreast of the car and P and my jaw literally dropped to the ground in astonishment at the sight and after it flew away, we sat quietly and pondered the ghastly role we play in pushing that bird out of its home and maybe eventually to extinction.

What will life be without beautiful birds? J. Franzen, an incredible nonfiction writer and serious birder, wrote in The Discomfort Zone: “What I felt for (birds) went beyond love. I felt outright identification.” In an earlier passage in the same book he said, “I came upon a particularly charmless stretch of muddy sand on which there were a handful of more common shorebirds, dunlins and semipalmated plovers and least sandpipers . . . Camped out amid high-rise condos and hotels, surveying the beach in postures of sleepy disgruntlement . . . like a little band of misfits. Like a premonition of a future in which all birds will either collaborate with modernity or go off to die someplace quietly.”

At our condo, I was surprised one day to hear birds chirping over the din of TV and (nearby) construction. I went to peer at the balcony and sure enough, there they were, ON my balcony, mayas, flitting between the metal bars and pecking on the ground at imaginary food. Mayas, hardy and ever adaptable, now apparently also live in high-rises. I saw some of them flying toward eaves and some may actually be building nests and growing babies under the lobby roof.

But what of the delicate-looking bird in the country? I can only pray that it too can find a hospitable home substitute. Maybe unlikely, but hopefully not all together impossible.

Uh-oh.

I think summer is coming early, way too early, this year. This morning, I was looking at the jackets that rescued me from the almost uncomfortable cold weather of the past days (23 degrees in the south, people! 8 degrees in Baguio) —the type of cold that hurts as it burrows to the bone, deathly, making me realize that, no, I probably will not survive migration to Iceland—and now I have to put the jackets away as rivulets of sweat fight for path rights over my face.

Oh, I will miss my hoody. Last week, as I was walking the dog, I wished I had a jacket on when strong gusts of wind lifted my blouse to my face and for a fraction of a moment the trash bins became unfortunate witnesses to my nunga-nungas.

I looove my hoodies. God bless the inventor of the hoody. They’re so comfy. Like, the ones I own have these ties that one may ribbon under the chin, keeping my ears and the rest of my skull warm and dry. Hello, perfection! But, I wonder, when does it get absurd for one to wear a hoody? 40? 50? Almost similar to the question, when does it get absurd for one to keep an online diary? He he.

A few weeks ago, my friend Jun, the creator of this Web site, decided to (temporarily? Forever?) close his own site. In his words, he said, “Goodbye. Life is good.” Does that mean, that we who still blog don’t have it so good? Was he implying that people who blog don’t have a life? He he.

Almost at the same time, my other friend, Ian, said something to the effect that it is a well known, but not openly admitted, fact that the amount of time one spends online is inversely proportional to the amount of time one spends living. Well, who makes these stupid rules, anyway? Ha ha.

Well, I discovered the Internet in 1997, made a corny Web site in the following years that I discontinued; tried to write in LJ, but because I didn’t believe in sharing the nitty-gritty of my life then (I told someone before that online diaries are just public masturbations) my interest in it fizzled out. But, who does not hanker for a little exhibition, a dollop of self-promotion every now and then? I’m a Filipino, for chrissakes! I have opinions! So for a few years now, I have successfully maintained a blog in Blogspot where I occasionally scatter nuggets of pearly wisdom (in my opinion, snarks!) and then this Web site. In all my attempts to immortalize myself on the Web, I have never said goodbye. I also never apologized for not posting in my blog nor said, “Hello, I’m baaack!” after being away for some time. It’s simply: my blog, my rules, but you’re welcome to read if you like. This is why I never cared to switch on the “Comment” feature in my Blogspot nor put tracking devices (though vastly interesting. I’m thrilled that someone in Great Britain lost his/her way and landed on this site one day) to know who came and went. Besides being too much trouble (I’m 33 and many of my brain cells have since died), I’m sorry, but I simply don’t care.

Blogs are nice ways of sharing stories, of sharing ourselves; to others they are powerful tools (for informing, educating, ruining, inspiring). If people read us it is because we provide them a convenient way to kill time. If we stop blogging, our readers will maybe wonder, but most will probably just shrug and move on to the next available blog. So don’t apologize, don’t say goodbye (after all you might decide to come back. Jun, pleeease come back!), don’t proliferate beliefs that make others doubt their coolness (we all must have our delusions to keep us sane, ano ba!). Blog. Don’t blog. It’s your choice. Just, please, shut up about it.

Insight (er, I think).

Convo with P one dinner time:

P: Men don’t like women who don’t eat.

Me: You also don’t like women who get fat.

P: (Winks) Well, some men like women with some meat. But, nakakainis yung babae na aalukin mo kumain tapos a-ayaw-ayaw. Pasalad-salad, pasandwich-sandwich. 

Me: Vhaket?

P: Because women who refuse to eat are most likely anal retentive, manipulative, boring, and bitchy.

Me: Ganon?! Nge!

Confessions.

#1. I want to buy an entire set of encyclopedia in book form (brand new) and some books on architecture and art (on-sale ones, I don’t care). I’ve always dreamed of having my own set of Britannica. We couldn’t afford it when I was little and I was so vexed to find out then that the families who did have encyclopedias have stupid children. 

#2. As weird as this may sound, I’ll admit that one of the things I obsess about is having my very own photocopying machine.